thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
