My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
