Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
