Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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