RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
