Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
