Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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