I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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