So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Your penis caused this!
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