I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
