____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
