she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
