Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
