How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
