this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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