last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
we made out on top of his cat.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
