...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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