What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
