I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
