We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
In America we eat man semen.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
