Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
