She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Sext me about skeletons
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
