Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
