Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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