my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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