Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
