Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
