would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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