I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
