Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
