Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
FUCK WHALES
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