Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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