I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
