thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
