for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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