like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
