so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
