things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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