I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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