You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize