just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
