he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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