4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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