do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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