My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
