I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
