I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
