is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
