He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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