I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize