Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
