6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Randomize
