I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
