A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
