she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize