Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize