I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
